Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Snowball Effect

one decision.
Seemingly insignificant.
a band-aid of a decision.
seeking instant gratification
seeking, hungering for solace in the wrong places.
one leads to two, which gets with three and has four who checks out five and they meet six who know seven.
builds, builds, grows and changes and makes a new life.

deceive, even yourself.

Years later. a seemingly lifetime later. It all falls down. It all falls away and you are left staring that decision in the face. It wasnt even about that. Where is peace? Where is forgiveness?

Elusive because it wasnt even about that, was it?
Dig deeper.

A Rotted core needs to be dug out.
Needs a new center.
The layers are heavy.
provide warmth and cushion in this icy world.
Sometimes, it rips through you.
It was never even about that.
But that? That I can do. That I deal with.I know that.
It was all just covering up, covering up, covering up ....
a lifetime of running, hiding, posturing,
a lifetime of just making it.
You think you know.
But do you?
Where is Sarah....
What she be on?

Jesus. Help me to be real.

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