Thats not mine.

Sin.
Recently I have been convicted of how sin affects a community. I never understood this, even though I have heard it countless times. I have been horrified how people get in each other's business and I still am at times, but I been to the other side! I can see that no man is an island and I feel nervous at the weightyness of this revelation.

What I mean is, through several situations (personal and not) I have seen how sin that you havent committed directly can still drastically affect your life. We all pay the price for sin and not only is it a biblical mandate to be your brothers keeper and to lift them up, but it is in your best interest as well to keep them from the wide road to destruction and to lead them toward the narrow path of rightousness.

Due to the fact that would be pretty bogus to blast someone else's sin on here and then exemplify how its messing with my life, I am going to use Israel and the whole Gaza Strip situation. So back in the time of the old Testament, Abraham and Sarah were desiring a child. Sarah did not trust in the Lord and took matters into her own hand (Sarah's are always not trusting!!!) and sent her maid servant Hagar to lay with Abraham and produce a child. As usual, the Lord delivered on his promise to Sarah in His own time and she was able to bear her own child thus rendering Hagar's child undesirable. AND so it began = unrest in the middle east stemming from the Jews being Abraham and Sarah's child Issac and the Middle Eastern ethnicity (I couldnt figure out what to put there? Palestinians? Iraqi? Saudi? Islam? After five minutes, I settled Middle Eastern Ethnicity. Dont dwell on it) which was the fruit of Abraham and Hagar. So Sarah's sin and lack of faith in the Lord to satisfy her desire has a very obvious and lasting result. Hatred and ethnic divide and genocide is under way to this very day. People, children, moms, elderly, whole communities are trembling in fear and being assaulted and have inherited this sin and its results. Do they even know what they are fighting for anymore? I dont know. Land? Really? Land?
PRIDE.

On a more personal note, sometimes people do mean stuff. I assume that into myself on such a personal level. I assume in the most extreme way, that somehow I am to blame for their actions. People have told me before, "its not about you" and I never listened deeply to that. I never understood what that meant or rather, I thought people misinterpreted my feelings as somehow I thought I was important enough to make that person sin. I was just taking on responsibility that somehow, I was ridiculous enough, or bad enough that this person had no fault and i caused them to act this way. But I am realizing what "its not about you" means.

Everyone sins. We have to, we are human. Perhaps the way someone is treating me is their own sin and nothing to do with me. When i snap at the lady in front of me for going too slow, its not really her fault but my own lateness, disorganization and lack of patience that causes me to do that.

Perhaps I was just there. Perhaps, I was in the line of fire.

This not only has present day applications for me, but life altering implications.
All that stuff in the past, all that SUPER RIDICULOUSLY HORRIBLE family issues that I cant see fit to get over on....Maybe most of that was so not even about me but I was just there, plodding along and stepped out into the dangerous traffic of their own sinful strugles. Maybe, I dont need that apology and reckoning because after all...

It wasnt even about me, was it?

I want to hold onto that thought. I want to take that truth and cuddle up and intertwine with it so I can soak every bit of relief out of it and allow my life and heart to be changed and renewed.