Friday, October 2, 2009

throwing yourself on the honesty grenade

I have trouble sharing - not like my toys, or money, or hugs, or my car. But sharing whats going on with me. Fortunately, people are very busy with their lives and I can be shy so ne'er the two shall meet. I read this post tonight on another blog and was like Yes! The gift of going second. . . . .
Have you ever been in a small group with people that confess safe sins? Someone will say, “I need to be honest with everyone tonight. I need to have full disclosure and submit myself in honesty. Like ODB from the Wu-Tang Clan, I need to give it to you raw!” So you brace yourself for this crazy moment of authenticity and the person takes a deep breath and says … “I haven’t been reading my Bible enough.”

Yeah, thats happened to me.

Ugh, you, dirty, dirty sinner. I’m not even sure I can be in a small group with you any more. Not reading your Bible enough, that is disgusting. And then once he’s gone someone else will catch the safe sin bug too and will say, “I need to be real too. I haven’t been praying enough.”

Two of you in the same room? Wow, freak shows! I can barely stand it.


But what happens when people start confessing safe sins is that everyone else in the room starts concealing their real junk.

thats deep. and real.
And that sucks. It sucks that as broken as we all are, as desperate as we all are for a Savior, we feel compelled to clean ourselves up when we get around each other.
As if we arent all filthy dirty and so incredibly desperate for the cleanliness of Christ.

I cant keep up appearances. I try to all the time...I try to take my bad stuff and clean it up and store it away, or convince myself that people dont know that or cant see it.

This world/People like you more if you are all pretty, and neat, and not needy but concealed.
But so what?
So what if people know I am scared, and i feel broken and alone alot.
So what if my brokenness bleeds out at the edges the harder I try to hold it in.

Letting it all hang out may be the first step to God healing it.

When you go first, you give everyone in your church or your community or your small group or your blog, the gift of going second.

It’s so much harder to be first. No one knows what’s off limits yet and you’re setting the boundaries with your words. You’re throwing yourself on the honesty grenade and taking whatever fall out that comes with it. Going second is so much easier. And the ease only grows exponentially as people continue to share. But it has to be started somewhere. Someone has to go first and I think it has to be us.

We’re called to give the gift of second to the people in our lives. To live the truth, to share the truth, to be the truth.

Now I just have to pray for courage....

(quotes taken from #502)

"Jesus paid it all...
All to him I owe...
Sin it left a crimson stain...
He washed it white as snow..."


KayCee Studios said...

Hey there, cuz! Cool to see your blog, liek to read your rablings. You should put a follow button on here, so I can see when you update. You can do it in your dashboard. Haven't seen you for a while, hope you are awesome!
Your favoritest cousin,

9hammys said...

Its so true!! keep 'er honest. there is grace for everything.